A glimpse under the hood: the ceaseless activity of my mind.

08 September 2006

Aging

Officially, I’m growing older. Sure, by laws of the universe every second I’m alive counts as increasing age. What I’m really experiencing is the wearing out of my body. This is new to me: I’m finally feeling like I’m growing older. Gray hair, wrinkles, flab and my actual age don’t bother me. It’s the fact my joints are wearing out that is causing me to pause.

First, it was my knees. After years of jogging and hiking, they just can’t take it any more. More recently, I’ve caused my first shoulder injury. With my knees and shoulder, I’ve had two different doctors tell me it’s a result of my age and overuse of the joints. Age? I’m in my thirties. Overuse? I’m not a professional athlete.


Regardless, the simple fact remains that I’m currently on the injured list and can’t lift weights or perform strenuous activity involving my shoulder. My MRI is next week and then a follow up visit with the orthopedic doctor the week after next. I’m hoping it’s a quick fix, but the doc indicated it is probably something substantial. I’ll keep you posted.

07 September 2006

Running Water

I’ve always liked being around water. Natural running water is my favorite form. A fountain can be nice for a momentary escape in an urban setting, but nothing tops a natural river run. I’ve gone swimming, tubing, skiing, sailing, and various forms of paddling from as early as I can remember to as late as last week on numerous rivers.

I thoroughly enjoy the sounds of nature while being on the river: birds, frogs, crickets, trees creaking, fish jumping and rapids. The colors of my surroundings coupled with fresh air resonate with a part of me that I can’t pinpoint. My connection to and longing for this environment has always been with me and I’ve never fully understood it.

Being on a river usually relaxes me more than anything else. Sure, I have adrenaline rushes in rapids, enjoy spending time with family and friends and revel in being in nature. But relaxation is usually the long-term benefit.

Occasionally, I’ve had intense spiritual experiences while on a river, causing me to feel closer than usual to God. I guess it’s these deep spiritual moments I long for with each new trip on whatever river is before me.

In addition to God, I’ve also deepened many meaningful relationships with those I care about while sharing experiences on a river. I don’t know if it’s because I’m relaxed and more truly myself, letting my guard down, which encourages and enables openness resulting in deeper conversations and experience. Or maybe the type of people I’m attracted to have similar reactions to being in nature on water.


Regardless, I count myself as fortunate to have such a simple way to enjoy life, share experiences and grow relationships. After all, life does boil down to our relationships with self, others and our Creator.

06 September 2006

Lifeguard

During this summer, my family and I have developed a friendship with one of the lifeguards at our local pool. He is a little older and more confident than the other lifeguards are and truly does his job with pride and confidence.

Our sons first took to him, probably because he is the strongest authority figure with a red float belt and because of curiosity about his tattoos. But Lifeguard actually proved to be excellent interacting with our sons. He is firm yet allows fun. He learned their names and spoke to them like they were older children (even thought they are toddlers).

Tonight, I had an unexpected dinner with Lifeguard. My wife and I offered to help him if ever he needed anything. I was a little surprised to receive a call from him this afternoon asking to meet me to discuss his current state in life.

I agreed and we met for a little more than one hour. From my perspective, it was a nice discussion. I did my best to listen, empathize and offer practical advice in small chunks. He’s a quiet guy, but I think he was receptive. It’s exciting to be involved with someone who is setting goals and pursuing a dream. My wife and I hope and pray for the best for Lifeguard. I hope Lifeguard and I can meet again.

05 September 2006

Luddite

Luddite: one who opposes technical or technological change.

Today I made the decision to revert to a form of organization and technology I haven’t used for at least ten years: paper and pen. I’ve actually been pondering giving up my multiple, overlapping seldom synchronized electronic forms of organization for several months. What forced me to change, almost in an epiphany, was at the end of the hour I spent today consolidating paper meeting notes and drawings into Outlook tasks and notes with corresponding reminders.

It wasn’t so bad a few years ago. I’ve maintained work and personal Outlooks for years and synchronized them with a PDA as the middleware. Now I use a BlackBerry, have different versions of Outlook and can no longer keep up with personal and professional goals and responsibilities in one place. I stay confused and subsequently frustrated. Slowly, as alluded to, I’ve transitioned back to paper and pen.

What makes today the official transformation from electronic automation to archaic scribbling was my purchase of a binder system. I’ve used them before and found it easy and comfortable. In fact, I’m welcoming back an old friend. I hope we carry on as well as we did before. I’ll let you know how it goes.